Sunday, June 6, 2010

Update on my sewn fingers

Thank you so much, you guys, for leaving such sweet and encouraging comments on my last post. I needed them so badly, they were more than welcome and absolutely heartwarming.

This is just an update to let you know how I'm doing. 
Well, let's just say that it's a bumpy ride. Not in a medical sense. I think my injuries are very common and the treatment is not that specacular. Today it's been two weeks since I had surgery on my fingers. It's just what's happening between my ears that's making this period feel like a ride in a rollercoaster.

In the beginning things looked quite promising, considering the circumstances. As I told you in my previous post I had a plaster-bandage for about 24 hour. Then I had surgery and got this bandage:

They told me this could be removed and replaced by a simple bandage on both fingers in just two days, like this:

So 2 days after the surgery I had a look at my operated fingers and was not glad. They were very swollen and the stitches looked like they were gonna burst. my middle-finger looked like it was dislocated at every joint. But two days after surgery...what else can you expect right? I was ever so glad I got rid of the thick bandage and my hand felt free again.
After 3 days I had another visit to the docter. Still very swollen but looking a tiny bit better.

6 days after that (that was last thursday) I had an appointment in the hospital with the orthopedist. The stitches were removed, which is a good thing of course. He looked at my fingers and said: they still look rather swollen, than he looked at the x-ray that was made after surgery and decided that I needed another 2 weeks of curved fixation of my fingers. 

So instead of going home with instructions to train my fingers to get them moving again I got a sweaty and tight bandage again. after that I went to the office (I had already been working for 3 days which gave no problem apart from being a bit slower in typing of course). I had to tell the disappointing news that recovery of the use of me hand was postponed for at least two weeks.

That evening it went wrong. The bandage felt much too tight. there was no way i could move my fingers and it felt sweaty between them. My ringfinger was slightly pushed sidewards which didn't feel right. And that's where the 'between-the-ears" thing began. I was the entire evening on the verge of a nervous breakdown and knew that I was never able to go through this for two weeks. the next day I went back to the hospital and they gave me this, a finger splint, which feels mĂșch nicer.

I can move my fingers almost as much as is posible. But thats very minimal still. (The reason my fingers have to be curved has to do with the forefinger which was dislocated. Apparently, if I stretch that finger now there's a chance it could get dislocated again). They recommended to try and move them a bit. I feel like I can breath again. But I'm afraid to hope for good news on the next appointment, just because I'm afraid to be disappointed again.

Now I can move my fingers a bit more, there's more discomfort than before, but I guess that's just normal.  

Conclusion of this post is that my reaction on the (too) tight bandage freaked the hell out of me. It's all very irrational but it was oooh so real. I felt like crying but I couldn't. I sat rocking on the couch back and forth like I was mad. I couldn't watch tv or read (didn't feel like distraction at all!!), my appetite for food was completely lost. I didn't breath properly. I felt completely lost and out of control. Like my whole being was caved in and couldn't find a way out.  

Did anyone of you have a similar experience like this and did you know how to handle this?
I would love to hear, because if this happens again.....

I hope no-one will think of me as a cry-baby now. I can be pretty tough if I have to. Maybe that's why I'm so shaken by my reaction.

Well, this was not a very cheerful post I'm afraid. Hopefully the next one will be a bit brighter.


p.s. And still no sewing I'm afraid.


Anonymous said...

Lilian, I'm so sorry to read how much trouble you've been having with your fingers. I'm glad that the splint has made things more comfortable for you now.
In regards to how you felt, perhaps you had a panic attack?
I do hope you don't feel like that again.

gwensews said...

You poor girl! Shees! Anxiety accompanies pain. I hope your fingers heawl quickly and you get some relief from both. Sending good wishes.

JoanneM said...

Oh my word. Keep going for nice walks to keep your mood elevated. Seriously. This type of injury could seriously downgrade your emotional health. Make it a goal to walk every day, so that you goals that don't involve your hands. Time and patience......

Kathi said...

I have nothing to offer other than I am thinking of you and hope things are getting better and better.

KID, MD said...

Oh, I'm so sorry that this has been such a difficult time! I agree with Sue that it sounds like a panic attack, which wouldn't be too surprising considering what you are going through. Do tell your doctor about how this is effecting you emotionally. If he can't help, I know he can help you find someone who can. Good luck. You'll be in my thoughts.

Eugenia said...

I am so sorry that you have been going through such a miserable time. No wonder you have been freaking out a little - I know that I would. Physical injuries can very easily affect our emotional wellbeing. However, I am sure that very soon you will start to feel much better and you will be able to put this unpleasant period behind you.

Nancy said...

No fun, hope things are going better now. Will you be able to see a hand therapist for therapy? A hand therapist is a specialty in occupational therapy and they have all sorts of tricks to help you regain the mobility in your hand. The hand is quite complex with many small bones, ligaments and tendons and can take quite a while to heal (sorry, disappointing news), but it will get better! (BTDT)

Anonymous said...

Glad that you are able to post on your blog again to let us know how you are doing. Glad to hear there is progress, even if it isn't as smooth as you would hope.

Lois K

Lina said...

I have come to send you a smile. :)Be brave.

Anonymous said...

Sad story, Lilian, Hope you'll get well soon! Take care!

The 2 A's